Women At The Helm with Jen Pate - EP. 03

"If you drive a car, you can drive a boat."
Today you’ll hear our conversation with Jen Pate, CEO of Feel Ageless. In episode 3 of Stomping Grounds, we met up Jen and her husband Jonas in Wilmington North Carolina and got a glimpse into their family’s on-the-water lifestyle, which served as inspiration for the hit Netflix show Outer Banks. We learned how the family comes together and connects around boating and we touched on some interesting topics, around family dynamics, remote work lifestyles and overall health and wellness that we’re going to delve a little deeper into today. 

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Transcript

00:00:01:01 - 00:00:29:05
Announcer
From the cracked boom box speakers on Grandpa's old skiff, the dockside gym boxes and the ultra high fidelity sound systems of today's luxury yachts, however you listen to your favorite shows. This is the Stomping Grounds podcast by Boat Trader. No matter where you are locked on land or cruising topside, we're bringing you stories from real boaters all across America who show us why they love their boat and what makes it the perfect vessel for their neck of the woods to.

00:00:29:13 - 00:01:00:09
Ryan McVinney
Today you'll hear my conversation with Jen Pate, CEO of Feel Ageless and episode three at Stomping Grounds. We met up with Jen and her husband, Jonas Pate in Wilmington, North Carolina, and got a glimpse into their families on the water lifestyle, which served as inspiration for the hit Netflix show Outer Banks. We learned how the family comes together and connects around boating, and we touched on some interesting topics around family dynamics, remote work lifestyles and overall health and wellness that we're going to delve a little deeper into today.

00:01:01:00 - 00:01:09:00
Ryan McVinney
I really enjoyed our conversation, and I hope you do, too. So let's get into it. Welcome to the podcast, Jen. So great to have you.

00:01:09:13 - 00:01:11:00
Jen Pate
Thank you. I'm super psyched to be here.

00:01:11:22 - 00:01:30:15
Ryan McVinney
Cool. So I know, you know, when we were together filming Stomping Grounds three, we got to learn a little bit about your your family life there on the water in North Carolina. I'm excited to delve into a little bit more of that topic. Like what role has boating played in your life and in your and your family's lives there?

00:01:31:02 - 00:01:55:01
Jen Pate
I mean, it's been huge. I didn't quite realize so we moved here from Los Angeles to Wilmington, North Carolina, five years ago. And my husband being from North Carolina was more of the on the water boat guy. And I grew up in Chicago. A little boating there wasn't really in my family. And when we moved here, he absolutely insisted we were on the water with like a dock at our house.

00:01:55:01 - 00:02:12:10
Jen Pate
And I did not understand how game changing that was going to be for our family. The amount of time we spend on the boat, on the water connecting. It's really it's just been like the biggest blessing in our life.

00:02:13:14 - 00:02:24:11
Ryan McVinney
Yeah. And we've talked about sort of like the healing nature and how people can come together. Like what benefits do you think being on the water has? And have you seen in your family members in your life?

00:02:25:11 - 00:02:50:00
Jen Pate
Well, I think it kind of takes the pulse down. I mean, you know, the world is crazy. I mean, it's it's intense. There's more pressure on everybody. There's more chaos. I think any time anyone can get outside in nature with fresh air, I mean, there are studies on it. I certainly am, you know, not going to say something that's like revolutionary.

00:02:50:00 - 00:03:12:11
Jen Pate
We know this, but we have to do it. And you also tend to get off your devices when you're out in nature. The the air, the I love the sea birds being on the water. There's there's also a calming effect. I mean, you know, when you get super mom, like with you for a second, I mean, you're born in the womb, swishing around in water.

00:03:12:11 - 00:03:34:01
Jen Pate
It's calming. You know, it's literally how we came into this world. And so I think being on the water, being in nature, it it just it's really, really important. The world's not going anywhere, you know, and we all have to take that time, whatever that looks like for people. And some people may not be able to get out on the water.

00:03:35:06 - 00:03:46:02
Jen Pate
I think it's great if you can, but walking outside, getting in any green space, I think it's just it really kind of just calms your your heart in your mind.

00:03:47:09 - 00:04:12:10
Ryan McVinney
Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, so your your husband, Jonas, you know, he grew up boating a little more than you did, and now he's got you to I guess that was kind of inspiration behind the show, as probably a lot of people know. But but it's you know, in the show, the kids are just out on the little beta boats, which we talk about when I was there with you and in episode one of stomping grounds, our video series, I'm on my little tin boats out of Cape Cod, know.

00:04:12:12 - 00:04:27:18
Ryan McVinney
So I think I think you said something interesting that not everybody can do this. Maybe not everybody can get on a really fancy jewel console or a big fancy wake boat or on up to a motor yacht. But nearly everybody can get on the water on something, right?

00:04:28:01 - 00:04:48:10
Jen Pate
Well well, that is true. I mean, we bought our kids this little used Carolina skiff, which has been literally the best purchase ever. It's a great way, if you have kids to get them on the water, to get them to learn. But you can I mean, I have I have a nice kayak. I've got, you know, Hobie with the pedals and the paddle.

00:04:48:22 - 00:05:17:17
Jen Pate
You can get a kayak, a paddle board, a little boat. There are so many used items you can find. You do not have to. You know, I think boating has this feel. If you think, oh, boating, it's fancy you. Yeah, but he's got to be, you know, yachts. It's just not getting on the water is for everybody. There's really there's it's totally accessible and the experience is just is amazing.

00:05:17:21 - 00:05:36:22
Jen Pate
As a matter of fact, I mean, the bigger and the more expensive the boat, the harder it is to maintain, the more responsibility. So you also want to get something that's realistic to your lifestyle, too. But I mean, that little used Carolina skiff, I mean, my kids have worn that thing out.

00:05:37:12 - 00:05:55:00
Ryan McVinney
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No, I mean, I marvel at the engineering that goes into one of those big super yachts, you know, that we look at sometimes. It's a whole team of people that are required to keep it running, but you know, what I love about voting is also the diversity of it. It's that you have that little kayak.

00:05:55:07 - 00:06:16:08
Ryan McVinney
You know, I have a little kayak. I think the old harbormaster gave me the kayak at the Cape. That was one of my first ways that I explored the marsh, you know, so I was free, you know? So I think I think, you know, when people think, oh, there's the barrier to entry on boating, it's like, well, only maybe in your mind, maybe because if you live near any body of water, you can get out there.

00:06:17:03 - 00:06:40:05
Jen Pate
It's it is so very true. And I think that is the really important thing. And it's so cool, too, because it can be totally meditative and solo. It could be social. I mean, I told you all about this, but one of the biggest bonding I've had with this group of women, we have a little name for ourselves, the W5, the Wilmington Five, but they're five of us.

00:06:40:05 - 00:07:07:18
Jen Pate
They all paddleboard and I kayak. And during when COVID started and we were all literally locked down, you know, we would get on our paddleboards and kayak and go out on the water. And sometimes everybody gets really quiet and you're kind of in this meditative space and looking around. And then sometimes we'd get super chatty and hang. So it's, it's a really good social activity, too.

00:07:07:18 - 00:07:31:03
Jen Pate
And for some reason, I was talking to my friends about this. There's something about being outside on the water that people sort of really share deeply. I don't know. There's like there's like somehow there's this understanding that you're kind of in this sacred space and people seem to share more about their lives. I don't know. Maybe that's just my experience, but definitely been an experience.

00:07:31:14 - 00:07:53:07
Ryan McVinney
No, absolutely. There's a book that I like often referred to called Blue Mind by Wallace J. Nichols. You know, one of his quotes is we're beginning to learn that our brains are hardwired to react positively to water, and that being here, it can calm and connect us. Like connect us is like a key word to increase innovation and insight and even heal what's broken.

00:07:53:08 - 00:07:59:06
Ryan McVinney
So I think, you know, he nails it with that quote. And that's a cool book. If anybody hasn't checked it out, it's worth reading.

00:07:59:14 - 00:08:00:02
Jen Pate
Great book.

00:08:00:12 - 00:08:18:05
Ryan McVinney
Yeah. Talks about autism. But you know, you mentioned like the W five. That's that's awesome. I like that. We've talked about it a little bit. Like I think, you know, in terms of the family dynamics which we talk about a little in our it's with you what you know being a mom like and being a female boat captain.

00:08:18:05 - 00:08:29:18
Ryan McVinney
Right. Like I think you famously said to me, like, we're not damsels in distress. We can drive the boat, too, you know, can you talk to me about that aspect a little and those dynamics and learning like how driving like.

00:08:30:23 - 00:08:56:02
Jen Pate
Well, this is the weirdest thing to me. So I moved to North Carolina and got a boat and I didn't even think about driving it myself because it just I mean, in my mind, it was I don't know, it was like my husband's thing. And so living here, I had this realization. I was like, okay, if I have to go to the grocery store and don't wait for my husband to drive me, right?

00:08:56:03 - 00:09:14:12
Jen Pate
Why am I waiting for him to take me out on the water? And it's something that I think that the boating culture is catching up to that you and I have discussed that even I think boat sales, I think you had said were up like 70% in maybe 2020 or 2021 for women.

00:09:14:12 - 00:09:17:18
Ryan McVinney
Yeah. Women. Boat shoppers. Yeah, 75%, I think. Yep.

00:09:17:23 - 00:09:38:16
Jen Pate
Which which? I mean, it's so crazy. So I think what's really important to any women listening to, you know, have a husband who boats and it seems it's so funny ranks it seems sort of archaic like I almost feel like I'm a 1950s housewife. Like I'm waiting for my husband to get home. And for some reason, voting is kind of like that.

00:09:38:20 - 00:09:59:22
Jen Pate
I mean, there is some physicality to it. And so I don't you know, that is I talking to some girlfriends about this exact thing, like we need to empower ourselves. I came to my husband, travels a lot for work. He's a director, as you know. And, you know, this summer, I mean, I'll be back and forth where he's working.

00:09:59:22 - 00:10:22:01
Jen Pate
But my big goal is to not be nervous at all about taking the great white out on my own. And once again, there is some physicality. You know, there's some anchoring, there's some pulling, there's some you know, he's he's bigger and stronger than I am. I'm strong for my age and my size. So you do have to take that into account.

00:10:22:01 - 00:10:34:08
Jen Pate
And that is an actual thing. But there is no reason that any woman can't get out on the water and get behind a boat. That's that's how I look at it. If you're if you drive a car, you can drive a boat.

00:10:34:21 - 00:10:53:03
Ryan McVinney
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No. And of course, there's some physicality, but that's what I love to see that people getting comfortable with getting our boat driving selves and then eventually, you know, stepping up and and kind of taking charge is really cool. And as a mom that you can you do that with your family. You know I think that's awesome.

00:10:53:03 - 00:10:55:06
Jen Pate
Yeah. All my kids drove a boat before I did.

00:10:55:14 - 00:10:56:18
Ryan McVinney
Yeah, that's right.

00:10:56:18 - 00:11:05:00
Jen Pate
Well, I'm still in the learning phase, my kid. I mean, you know, kids, they got the opportunity to get out on the water and they they took to it quickly.

00:11:05:11 - 00:11:05:17
Ryan McVinney
Yep.

00:11:06:07 - 00:11:34:03
Jen Pate
And for them, it's so much fun. I mean, you know, it's I mean, I feel so grateful that we moved here at the time. So when we moved here five years ago, my daughter was going into eighth grade, my son was going into ninth grade. So they had their high school years on the water. It's such a big part of what they do and who they are now and the fact that they have that for their life to that they are now boaters is really, really cool.

00:11:34:11 - 00:11:48:18
Ryan McVinney
You and I have talked a little bit about like a healthy work life balance. And, you know, I think we we talk about can you talk about your feel ageless company and kind of how that ties in with boating in a lot of ways it does.

00:11:48:18 - 00:12:13:20
Jen Pate
The first thing I want to address is that the work life balance. Yeah, I think it's if only it was a balance. I think that it's really hard and any woman, any mom and I think, by the way, I mean, I'm going to address the mom female part. But I also want to say to any men out there who are listening, there's more expectations on all of us than there ever have been before.

00:12:14:02 - 00:12:40:04
Jen Pate
So when I when I talk about this, I really also want to say that for men, there's a lot more responsibility with the family and with, you know, domestic and fatherhood. So I'm not you know, I'm not dissing men because everybody has a lot more expectations. As a woman, I want to say that anyone who's trying to balance work and family, it's hard.

00:12:40:04 - 00:12:47:11
Jen Pate
And sometimes I mean, somebody once gave me a great quote in an interview I did. And they said, you know, you can have it all, but not at one time.

00:12:48:02 - 00:12:48:07
Ryan McVinney
Hmm.

00:12:48:18 - 00:13:09:18
Jen Pate
And so as I go into what feel ageless is I want people to know that I have been blessed to be able to kind of take my foot on and off the gas for work because of my husband's work. But I have made a lot of choices for our family to either stop working or put work on pause because my family has needed me.

00:13:10:02 - 00:13:35:18
Jen Pate
So it's challenging. And and for anybody listening, you are so not alone in it. There's no perfect, you know, there's no perfect way to do it. So having said that, I'm a content creator in that I mean, I've had one, I've had I've reinvented myself many times. I was a professional dancer when I was young doing concert work and theater, and I was a casting director for years.

00:13:35:18 - 00:13:59:16
Jen Pate
And then I had a web series called Jen and Barb Mom Life, which was about motherhood and had a lot of success with that, and then kind of took a pause with family traveling and kids. And then I really started thinking about as we're getting older, what life looks like, you know, 50 for example, when I grew up, that was ancient.

00:13:59:16 - 00:14:32:05
Jen Pate
It I was like grandparent, little old Dottie people with, you know, like that really was at least my perception I'm sure that they may push back on that, but it looks different. We're living longer. We have so many more opportunities. We have this whole kind of extended middle age. And I wanted to address that and I wanted to help people with preventative care because to me, it's about keeping your health span on par with your life span.

00:14:32:05 - 00:15:02:17
Jen Pate
So I don't want to live to 100 if I can't use my body and my mind. I want to live as long as everything's still going. And so what I'm interested in conversations about finance, fitness, health, relationships, the sort of longevity of all that. And we're kind of boating life and water life. It comes into lifestyle and when we moved here, it was a big, big change.

00:15:02:17 - 00:15:31:08
Jen Pate
I'd been in L.A. for like 25 years, and I love my life there and I love my people there. And while I still love it there, I can tell you living in a smaller town on the water, the pace of it, the health that I feel sort of mentally, emotionally, it has a lot to do with that. So I think and you know, and if we kind of shift a little bit into that lifestyle, not everybody can move.

00:15:31:08 - 00:15:49:19
Jen Pate
And we did it pre-COVID. But now with this, you know, the way we're able to communicate with with Zoom and all the different Google meets and all the, you know, all the the options we have for work, I would implore people to really think about their lifestyle and their quality of life and evaluate where they are.

00:15:50:19 - 00:16:15:22
Ryan McVinney
Yeah, absolutely. And you mentioned sort of, you know, some of the shifts during the pandemic with people's work life. And, you know, I think remote work life actually. We talked about how women, both choppers were up 75%. I think a lot of that was tied with the pandemic and looking for outdoor activities, socially just activities. And now, you know, this pandemic is thankfully winding down, right.

00:16:15:22 - 00:16:40:16
Ryan McVinney
Like but those shows will continue. I think we had a campaign called Work from Hell a year ago, which hashtag work from home. You know, it's like embracing that work life. That's the way I think people can, you know, maybe we can't all work from our boat, but you can at least make sure you're taking that time off to get out on the water in between, create your your work environment at your house and separate it.

00:16:40:16 - 00:16:48:10
Ryan McVinney
But also you have the flexibility now to be able to take calls on the boat right, and be able to do that kind of stuff.

00:16:48:18 - 00:17:12:13
Jen Pate
Oh, I've done many, as has my husband. We've we have both taken absolute work calls from the boat. We've worked on the boat. I mean, obviously there's some things you can't do, but, you know, working from the helm, it's not out of the realm of possibility. You know, you got to get some good, good Wi-Fi or good cellular, but it's certainly doable.

00:17:12:13 - 00:17:41:19
Jen Pate
And and it's and I think that, you know, it's sort of obviously the pandemic was so tragic in so many ways. But if you kind of look at various silver linings or things that have shifted in our culture, I think this idea of being the kind of remote working, being able to choose a little bit more of where you spend your time, how you spend your time, I don't think that's going to change.

00:17:42:06 - 00:18:11:21
Jen Pate
I think even as you know, hopefully, I mean, we are you know, this pandemic seems to be coming to sort of a new chapter. But I hope that the the options of sort of working remotely and creating a lifestyle and quality of life that's healthier, you know, I mean, American's week, go, go, go, go, go to week drop, you know, and other cultures, that's just not the case.

00:18:11:21 - 00:18:35:10
Jen Pate
And it's just I mean, I don't know, everybody's racing to, you know, like to get more, do more, have more. And then when you get there, you really don't feel that much different. You know, it's like, you know, I've watched it. I've been around people who had so much money, you can't even imagine. I've seen people around people.

00:18:35:12 - 00:19:03:02
Jen Pate
I mean, it's different if you you know, there's there's sort of this study on happiness. And I think don't quote me, but I think it was about, you know, there's no sort of path like making I think it was like 60,000 a year or whatever. It was the sort of happiest, happiest happy quotient didn't really change. And so and I'm not saying we don't the reality of the world, I mean, we've got to put a roof over our heads.

00:19:03:02 - 00:19:24:23
Jen Pate
I mean, the price of gas right now, the price of groceries, I'm not saying that that what we need isn't very, very important. But I will say being, you know, a little bit of an elder stateswoman here, is that more doesn't mean happier or more and doesn't mean better. So. Well, we all want to work hard and we want to have this feeling of success in what we do.

00:19:25:04 - 00:19:36:15
Jen Pate
You also really got to slow down and enjoy it, because if you don't, by the time you may have whatever you think you wanted, you may not be have the ability to do all of this stuff.

00:19:36:23 - 00:19:59:10
Ryan McVinney
I mean, it reminds me of, you know, one of my favorite quotes and I don't butcher by Jacques Cousteau is the happiness of the be and the dolphin is to exist. Right. And then I think that for man or for human kind, it is to know that, to know that and to wonder at it. And I think that's like what being on the water does.

00:19:59:10 - 00:20:12:14
Ryan McVinney
It slows you down, you know, you you see the habitats around you and you connect with nature in a way that I think, you know, you wouldn't do if if you weren't on a boat and experiencing the natural world that way. That's cool.

00:20:12:15 - 00:20:38:05
Jen Pate
Absolutely. I mean, it's been it's really has put a like a shift in me. And whenever I'm on the water, even if it's just like a walk on the beach and looking at the water, I mean, it just it's, you know, and I I'm sure everybody feels that same way. And, you know, I know that it used to feel like I mean, you know, so many people are like they save up, save up, save up for that vacation to get on the water.

00:20:38:13 - 00:20:58:18
Jen Pate
There may be something, you know, and I mean, I'm not going to all of a sudden tell everybody, go, move now. But we've had so many people say to us, especially since the pandemic, like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe you guys did it. Now we're thinking of doing it. And sometimes it's like it's it's not easy, but if it's something that you think you may want to do, you should explore it.

00:20:59:13 - 00:21:08:23
Ryan McVinney
Yeah. So anyways, lastly, I think I just wanted to know for fans of the show, you get to travel with your family and be involved in some of those productions, right?

00:21:09:12 - 00:21:36:17
Jen Pate
Yeah, we just came back. So anyone who is an Outer Banks fan, so my husband is co-creator and we just came back. He was there for a couple of months, about six weeks in Barbados. We were filming and now filming in Charleston. So all water locations my husband clearly likes to control his life around water. And so we were yeah, we were just in Barbados, Charleston.

00:21:37:00 - 00:22:06:02
Jen Pate
And that was, I mean, four Outer Banks, a huge part of the inspiration. My husband and his twin brother, they grew up in North Carolina. They grew up on the water. And so there's three creators, my husband, his brother Josh, and this guy, Shannon Burke. And so Josh and Jonas grew up on the water. So, so much of Outer Banks is kind of their experience in their lives and their motivation to hence shooting on the water.

00:22:06:02 - 00:22:11:23
Jen Pate
Being on the water. So yeah, we get to travel a lot and it's really, really cool.

00:22:12:17 - 00:22:16:15
Ryan McVinney
That's really awesome. And that's for upcoming season three.

00:22:16:23 - 00:22:26:20
Jen Pate
Season three, which is currently filming, and I can't say when it's hopefully going to come out because if I get that wrong, I'll be in trouble.

00:22:27:02 - 00:22:31:21
Ryan McVinney
Awesome. So I'm looking forward to it too. So for fans of Outer Banks coming soon, right?

00:22:32:05 - 00:22:33:05
Jen Pate
That's right. Coming soon.

00:22:34:04 - 00:22:40:23
Ryan McVinney
All right. And Feel Ageless. Check that out. Jen Pate, thanks for joining us on the podcast. This is great talking to you.

00:22:41:08 - 00:22:43:12
Jen Pate
It was my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me, Ryan.

00:22:44:19 - 00:22:57:23
Ryan McVinney
All right, everyone. Thanks for watching and listening to the Stomping Grounds podcast. And if you enjoyed today's episode, please consider following your favorite the show. Please tune in to the next episode. And for now, we'll see you out there on the water. Stay floating, America.